Under the rug...

You can't see me!!

Think I can trip her?

Is she watching?

Just when she thought I'd grown out of that "phase"...

Hah! Did I dupe the human or what? Since the last time I shredded all the toilet paper, she's had it out of my reach. Then, a couple of weeks ago, she decided to bring it back down where I could reach it. It was hard to resist, but I ignored it all this time, until she was sure that I would leave it alone.

And then, today - Hah! This is for the DOG!!

Now...who rules this house again?

Yes, that would be ME. Let's not forget it, this time, OK?

Bailey

I'll just keep an eye on things from up here...

As the great Dr. Seuss once said (hey, cats can love books too!):

" Young cat, if you keep your eyes open enough, oh, the stuff you would learn! The most wonderful stuff!"

I like to keep an eye on my human (and sometimes nap) from the highest point in the whole house - the top of the kitchen cupboards.

The best part? Not only does my human sometimes forget I'm up there watching her, but she couldn't reach me to get me down if she wanted to!!

Bailey

I'm so glad my human is home!!!

Now, cats, before you start thinking I've gone all soft, let me explain something.

I know all about giving humans the cold shoulder when they return home from an absence. Believe me, I'm a strong advocate of taking such ripe opportunities to remind your humans of their subordinate place in the universe.

But there is a delicate balance that must be maintained between indifference for the sake of universal hierarchy and laying on the guilt for preservation of personal luxury.

Normally, after an absence, I would be like most cats and make my human beg for my attention. Usually this results in the greatest number of treats - proportional the degree of guilt they feel for having left you alone.

But this time, after an extended absence during which I know she was in the company of a dog, I believe it was one of the few times where it was appropriate to greet her with warm and open paws immediately upon her return. Guilt can be bestowed on the human in many ways, and I feel that this is a much better way to discourage my human from such future absences. It's one thing to make the humans merely feel guilty...it's an art to make them feel like you actually missed their presence (when all you really missed was access to treats on demand).

Trust me, I've been laying it on thick. Greeting my human at the door. Seeking out her constant company. Polite wake-up calls in the mornings....actually sharing my space on the bed.

It's working. She's sucking up big time.

But she better not get used to this. I might have to go shred a roll of toilet paper just to bring her back down to earth. What do you think?

Bailey

Do I look impressed?

Still painful to think about, much less look at...but here is a photo that pretty much sums up my feelings about my night at the Dog's House...taken in the midst of a standoff. This is me in the bathroom sink - the dog is in front of the door, blocking my escape.

Bailey

Home Sweet Home....

Aaaah, I'm home again. After a miserable night at the dog's house, I couldn't take it, he couldn't take it, and my human couldn't take it - I don't know what she was thinking, expecting me to spend the weekend with that, that...loud and over zealous pup.

Maybe I could've handled it if he was a bit calmer about the whole thing, but noooo...when I just wanted to quietly check him out from a few feet away, he'd just get all impatient and start barking and lunging at me. My human says he just wanted to play, but he just couldn't do it on my terms, could he?

Well...as you all know, I am queen of the universe, and if someone doesn't play by my rules, they just don't play, period. That includes dogs.

Now, I bet you're wondering what happened last night. Well....I could need a whole lot of therapy (or at least a big bag of turkey flavoured Temptations), but I'll tell you, because that dog's probably telling everybody that I'm the one who was being difficult.

When my human brought me to the dog's house, she put me in the bathroom to collect myself - as I said before, I hate travelling. She had my food and my treats and my toys, and my catnip pillow...give my human credit for one thing, she does know how to pack even if she does choose horrible destinations. Once I'd settled in for awhile, she brought the dog over to sniff at me under the door. Man, did he stink! I mean, I always knew that dogs were smelly critters, but whoa, dude, have another dentabone!

Anyway, from across the door he didn't seem too bad. She took him away and opened the door for me. I thought for awhile about whether or not I should come out, but she seemed to have the dog under control so I figured, why not? I crept down the hallway and got my first good look at the new digs - making a mental note of all the possible escape routes in case the dog tried to eat me.

Things were fine for awhile - I found a quiet perch on the back of the couch from which to keep an eye on the pooch. My human brought him closer and I gave him a couple of love taps just to let him know to keep his distance. Which he did. For a while. But every ten or fifteen minutes or so, he'd get bored of just watching me and would bark at me and drop toys in front of me....like I want to play with his slobbery toys? (Actually, I like that some of them squeak...I wonder if my human can get me one of those...a clean one, of course!).

He'd bark, I'd hiss. He'd back off, I'd back off. So it would continue for hours. Eventually, I decided to take a closer look at him, and I thought I'd made it very clear that I meant to do so on my terms...but every time I'd approach, he'd start barking and jumping and trying to lick me again.

Tell me, how hard is it to figure out that he just needs to chill? I mean, can't he see it's hard enough for me to agree to sniff a DOG and that if I'm willing to do so, maybe he ought to just settle down and let me check him out?

By bedtime, we still had not made our peace. I retreated to the bathroom and the dog went to bed...with my human!!! Once I thought he was asleep I thought I would go join her, you know, in case the dog thought he could claim her...but he tried to pounce on me as soon as I snuck out of the bathroom. I escaped under the bed but he just kept pacing and sticking his head under the bed, calling me out.

Yeah right!

Finally, my human, sensing my distress, rescued me and agreed to bring me home where I belong.

And now, I'm going for a much needed nap...who sleeps when they're at a dog's house anyway?

Bailey

$#!^$!^ Dog!!!

What did I do to deserve this?

First, my human packs up my things. Then, she puts me in my carrier (I hate my carrier, and hopefully she'll remember that after the scratches I left in her arms and hands). I thought I was going to the vet or something because I only go in my carrier if I'm going to the vet. As we left the house, I yelled as loud as I could to her that I feel FINE, and there's no need to see the doctor.

When we stopped, I realized right away that this wasn't the vet's office. Even worse! She brought me to the DOG's house!

She put me in the bathroom where the dog can't reach me, but that still hasn't kept that smelly, slobbering, mutt from trying his darndest to check me out. Look, Buster, I'm a lady, and I don't much like your wet, cold nose in places it doesn't belong, so BEAT IT!! Hissing....does not mean try harder! (Typical man....hmpf...)

And while you're at it, stop barking at me. Do you really think you scare me? I may be hiding from you, but let's make one thing clear. It's not because I am afraid.

I am restraining myself. For now.

Better sleep with one eye open, kid, if you think you're sleeping with my human.

Hmpf.

Unbelievable. The Dog's house. I thought she said she loved me.

*sighs*

Bailey